Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
