Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
