Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
