I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
