im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
