Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
My life is pants optional.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
