You work out of a Hotel?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
