Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
