normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
