well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
