I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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