My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
