hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
