Duck Duck Cougar?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
