Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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