you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
