Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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