Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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