Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
