i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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