i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
My pussy is not your playground.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
