and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
