remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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