Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
