I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
