I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
