I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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