They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
