I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
do herpes really smell.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
