If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
