Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Randomize
