I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
