I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
