is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Randomize
