Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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