I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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