Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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