Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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