when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
