Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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