do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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