mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I enjoy the company of your penis
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
