It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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