i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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