I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
