am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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