Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
