Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
