I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
