Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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