Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
